I’ve been hearing a lot about ice cream in the news lately. First let me say that if you have mental issues, and are thinking about harming yourself, please seek immediate attention from a professional or someone you care about. With that being said…to the people licking ice cream in the store and putting it back on shelves…please take a long walk off a short bridge.
Now I see that Big Freedia has gotten with Ben & Jerry to create a new flavor: Booty Bouncing Beignets. Take all of my money!
How could I not make my next post about one of the many food loves of my life?
Who can forget the poignancy of this lyric from Tupac Shakur?
But please don’t cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don’t forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain’t nuttin’ don’t believe him
And if he can’t learn to love you, you should leave him
‘Cause sista you don’t need him
And I ain’t tryin’ to gas ya up, I just call ’em how I see ’em
Granted, this song was released when I was about 12 years old. But I can clearly remember sitting in my room 5 years later listening to this lyric while wallowing in teenage self pity after breaking up with my boyfriend. “Yeah Tupac…you care…that crusty, ashy (bleepity bleep) doesn’t give a damn about me.” Trust me, I’m over it. When we feel like that after heartbreak, we reach for an external vice to ease the sorrow. I’m sure if I were of legal drinking age at the time, shots of tequila would have been on the menu. Luckily, the vice vice-candidate was ice cream. Oh, how cliche…break up with your man…grab a pint of ice cream…cry into the bucket…create new meaning for salted caramel. Of course in hindsight, I would remind myself how silly I was to be pining over puppy love, not knowing what true love was until meeting The Beard.
What is it about the smooth creaminess of ice cream that eases the thought of slashing one’s tires and putting a king-sized Snicker’s bar in one’s gas tank? (I promise, I’m over it…lol.). What makes you forget that you are slightly lactose intolerant, but you will sacrifice a day of flatulence for peace of mind? What is better during your PMS moments than a sweet, salty, maybe crunchy, FDA safe (in moderation) antidepressant? I’ve had much more depressing moments in my adulthood after this “traumatic” break up, and ice cream was there to salvage my wounds.
So to take a page out of Wu Tang’s book of genius, this is my love letter to ice cream. Thank you Cookies & Cream for being there when I got turned down by my dream job. Thank you Butter Pecan for talking to me after my parents wouldn’t let me stay out late. Thank you Peanut Buttah Cookie Core for removing my self doubt when I was having trouble conceiving. Thank you One Love for reminding me that I am a great wife and mom who can handle all bouts of adversity.