Everything Is A Salad

We all know that America has an obsession with weight loss. At 2:00 AM you can catch the latest workout infomercial. I’m sure that someone is on Instagram raving about flat tummy tea. I’m almost positive that someone is about to publish their keto-inspired cookbook. The weight loss industry is a cash cow that will never get old.

I definitely struggle with my weight. I have tried the fad diets, the P90 death sentences, the magic detoxes. Right now I’m flirting with the idea of the keto lifestyle. Honestly, I saw my best weight loss when I did good old fashioned diet and exercise. Now that I’m a mom, I am struggling to find ways to focus on ways to reintroduce a healthy diet and exercise to my hectic lifestyle. Does it depress me? Hell yes. I teeter between the ideas of the perfect body image and “you’re going to take whatever stomach is in this bathing suit, and you’re gonna love it!” I get equally inspired and discouraged by the insta-perfect moms, planning the perfect meals for themselves and their families, using their kids as resistance weights, and still finding time to post about it. Where do they find the 27th hour of the day?

Equally inspiring and discouraging are the body builders, health gurus, and social weight watchers I encounter daily. Everyone (present company included) has some type of input on THE greatest thing for a healthy lifestyle. Then, after receiving that great advice for that greatest thing…I unwrap some unprocessed, sugary, savory, crunchy snack. Thus, I remain a blubbery work in progress.

During one of our many office luncheons, I would hear someone exclaim, “Oh, look at those cookies! I’m going to ruin my diet.” After hearing that I would say, “You can have cookies. Cookies are essentially a salad. Everything is a salad.” After getting a few chuckles and some head shakes in disbelief, I go on to explain. Once you see my explanation, you shall also join me on this enlightened journey.

Let’s look at the definition of salad:

Check out that second definition. This tells me that EVERYTHING is a salad. Remember that ominous cookie that my colleague wanted to neglect. A basic chocolate chip cookie includes flour, sugar, vanilla, butter, and chocolate chips. Sounds like a mixture with specific ingredients to me.

(Enter the pretentious health nut) But Curlz, salads essentially are plant based! Ummm…tuna salad, egg salad, pasta salad…shall I go on? Yes, I shall. I will go even further to breakdown these cookie ingredients for the nonbelievers:

  • Flour: comes from wheat. Wheat is a plant.
  • Sugar: comes from sugar cane. Sugar cane is a plant.
  • Vanilla: another plant.
  • Eggs: last time I saw a chef’s salad there were eggs on it.
  • Chocolate chips: comes from cocoa. Well, well, well…another plant
  • Butter: let’s just equate this to the cheese and dressing that you put on a salad

Hmmmm….all of theses plants and proteins and dressing sure sounds like a salad to me. And we can take it a step further, go into hipster mode, and call it a deconstructed reconstructed salad. And why stop at cookies?

Sangria = fruit salad

Sweet potato pie = potato salad

Popeye’s chicken and a margarita = tequila lime chicken salad

Not everyone will agree with me, many will challenge me, and some will plead with me to consider the unhealthy ramifications. Blah, blah blah. Just indulge me. Indulge in the guilty pleasures (in moderation of course). Join my following. Eat more salad!

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